Dinosaur CONSPIRACIES!

The internet is a wild and crazy place. I feel pretty confident that no matter what you want to believe, you can find a webpage supporting your point of view. Lots of tinfoil hat conspiracies about everything, and that includes dinosaurs. Everything from aliens destroying the dinosaurs, to dinosaurs and man living side-by-side. Some have been debunked more thoroughly than others. I’ve picked a few of the more ‘interesting’ ones. And by interesting I mean entertaining. Dinosaur pop culture certainly entertains us, so why not the conspiracy theories surrounding them too?

Dinosaur Ica Stones

In the 1960s, thousands of ‘Ica stones’ were collected by a scientist in Peru. These stones depict, along with various other unbelievable depictions, very modern looking dinosaur carvings. The assertion here is that ancient Peruvians wouldn’t have had the technical know-how to reconstruct dinosaurs with skin and muscle, and therefore must have seen them up close. Apparently a local farmer admitted to fabricating some of them, but the webpage link to those details has (mysteriously?) disappeared. There are thousands of the stones though, and definitely more than one man, using 1960s technology available to rural Peruvians, who must also farm for a living, would be able to accomplish. The going theory is that lots of the locals had the same idea of creating something to sucker the tourists with. Just to add a little bit of mystery though, before you’re completely convinced it’s all horse-hockey, there is no way to reliably date the stones! They very well could be ancient – or not. I’d still buy one to sit outside my front door. The things just look cool.

Asteroid First Strike!

This theory got a bit of a boost recently. Aliens destroyed the dinosaurs! With a rock! With the latest news about the dinosaur-hating meteor hitting the Earth in just the right (wrong) spot, it does tend to make one wonder. If a giant 9-mile wide meteor hit outside of a very specific 30 second window, the dinosaurs may still be here. That’s some precision accuracy! The conspiracy doesn’t stop there though, not only did it hit in shallow water instead of the ocean, but there was a hefty supply of gypsum which created sulfur, and added to the atmospheric destruction. What are the chances right? If you believe in the big bang theory, the cosmic coincidence that Earth gets all the right stuff to create life, then imagine another cosmic coincidence wipes out some of the coolest life. Now what are the chances that BOTH of those cosmic coincidences happen to the same planet?! The obvious conspiracy theory here is that aliens nudged the meteor our way for some reason. If us humans could do it in the movie Armageddon, aliens with space travel technology could too right? Whether you believe in this conspiracy or not, you gotta admit this is really low on the probability scale. This is my favorite dinosaur conspiracy theory to think about because of the parallels to the Dinosaurs vs. Aliens graphic novel.

Dinosaur Carving at Angkor Wat

I’ve saved the best for last, and by best I mean least unconvincing. Angkor Wat is the largest religious monument in the world, and found in Cambodia(next to Vietnam). Construction began in the late 1100s, and again in the early 1400s. On the Ta Prom temple there, you can find a carving of a Stegosaurus! Or so the conspiracy theory goes. Some people think it may be a chameleon or mountain horned dragon, both of which are native to the area. The spikes on the back are the sparks of the debate. Artistic flourishes? Or part of the animal? Check out the picture real quick for yourself and decide. Some tests have actually been done to determine authenticity, but they have come back inconclusive. One of the detractors to the argument are the ‘structures’ at the back of the head. Horns? Ears? WTF? The debate rages about other aspects, and has even started to implode on itself humorously. Some people say it isn’t a Stegosaurus because there are no spikes on the tail, while others claim it’s a rhino even though it has no horn on the nose. Hypocrisy from head to tail! One final bit of supporting evidence I’ll add is a blog post on the Smithsonian website. The post rips apart an episode of Ancient Aliens segment by segment – except for this one. There’s no mention of this particular dinosaur conspiracy theory at all! #Illuminati

Dinosaur Cover Ups Abound

I think if you want to push ‘serious’ dinosaur conspiracy theories to your friends and/or coworkers, this is the order I suggest you use. From least likely, to most mysterious and convincing. There are a lot more of these theories out there. The aforementioned Ancient Aliens episode is actually what inspired me to write this, and I totally recommend watching it (Season 4, Episode 10 Aliens and Dinosaurs). While some of it was obviously complete fabrication, it was thoroughly entertaining from beginning to end. While hoaxes are pretty universal, it is interesting to me that they come from various corners of the Earth. South America, Asia, and even North America with the radioactive dinosaur bones! Which is totally true, by the way, and why they use lead paint on some of the skeletons in museums. But wait – why are they radioactive you ask? Alien nukes, of course. Don’t be stupid.

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